THE PAC COWPIE
Let’s look back, shall we? Remember how two political action committees linked to House
Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi were charged with attempting to circumvent to legal limits on
campaign giving, according to a Federal Election Commission ruling back in March 2004.
FEC findings showed that Pelosi appearently violated the same kind of arcane campaign
finance regulation that spurred the indictment of House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.

The difference?

Tom DeLay resigned as House Republican Majority Leader after he was indicted, as
Republican Rules (not House rules) require. Nancy Pelosi did not resign, even though the
Democrats had originally pledged to enact similar ethics rules like the Republicans, and
even though she was found guilty of having a "fund-raising committee. . .improperly accept
[] donations over federal limits" and fined multi-thousands of dollars. Instead, she is now
the Speaker of the House.

Go figure.

THE MURTHA COWPIE
    As one of her first actions after election to the Speaker of
    the House, she decided to install Rep. Jack Murtha (D-
    PA), as her second-in-command. The mean Democrats
    instead picked her longtime political rival, Representative
    Steny Hoyer (D-MD) as the majority leader. Stepping in
    that road apple had to be more than a little embarrassing.
    It wasn’t supposed to be this way, spoiling the coronation
    of the new royal Queen Bee.

INTEGRITY ON ICE
Then the William Jefferson saga has simply refused to go away.
You will remember during her run up to the Democratic takeover
of Congress, Nancy Pelosi crisscrossed the country promising
to make ethics reform her first order of business as speaker.
You may also remember that William Jefferson, already a
subject of ongoing criminal investigation by the federal
government for several years, was reportedly caught by the FBI
to have $90,000 in marked bills in his freezer. Worse, he was
apparently videotaped accepting $100,000 from Lori Mody, a
Northern Virginia investor and former technology executive who
also reportedly was wearing an FBI wire.

The 83-page search warrant affidavit released on May 21, 2006,
described Rep. Jefferson as a man who solicited hundreds of
thousands of dollars in bribes, discussed payoffs with African officials, had a history of
involvement in numerous bribery schemes and used his family to hide his interest in high-
tech business ventures he promoted in Cameroon, Ghana and Nigeria.

Worse, in January 2006, one of Rep. Jefferson’s former aides, Brett M. Pfeffer, pleaded
guilty to charges of conspiracy to commit bribery of a public official and aiding and
abetting the bribery of a public official and in May 2006, Vernon L. Jackson, the CEO of
iGate, pleaded guilty to paying more than $400,000 in bribes to the family of Rep.
Jefferson. Rep. Jefferson is very likely to find himself soon charged with bribery, honest
services fraud and conspiracy. He has also violated numerous House rules, and the FBI
claims it has uncovered "at least seven other schemes in which Jefferson sought things of
value in return for his official acts."

So exactly how does Nancy make ethics reform her first order of business?

Well, let’s just say that Representative William Jefferson is still going strong and smiling at
the cameras. Though yanked off the House Ways and Means Committee when the stench
of Dollar Bill, as he is known around Louisiana (even the über-liberal Rolling Stone
nicknamed WJ “The Bribe Taker”) got to be too much for the usually smell-proof
Democrats, he has since been appointed by Nancy Pelosi to serve on the Homeland
Security panel.

Homeland Security!

Now there’s a lesson in ethics reform for all to be proud of.

It was a lesson not lost on Representative Peter T. King (R-NY)—"They couldn't trust him
to write tax policy, so why should he be given access to our nation's top secrets or making
policy for national defense?”

IMPEACHMENT AND INTELLIGENCE
Among so many miscues too numerous to mention, Ms. Pelosi also ran into trouble with
her first choice for chairman of the Intelligence Committee. Roll Call, the Capitol Hill
newspaper, reported that Ms. Pelosi privately made known that she was leaning towards
installing Florida Representative Alcee Hastings as chairman of the Intelligence
Committee, one of the most sensitive positions in Congress, especially at a time of war.

    It wasn't long, however, before Mr. Hastings' colorful past (he was once
    impeached and ousted from a federal judgeship by Congress on eight
    counts of bribery and conspiracy, no less!) started a snowball of
    negative publicity, primarily in the mostly non-mainstream media.

    Not surprisingly, the mainstream media largely ignored the
    controversy, so you probably didn’t hear too much about how during
    the late-1980s, the then-Democrat-controlled House of
    Representatives impeached Hastings for bribery and perjury by a
    lopsided vote of 413 to 3, nor that the then-Democrat-controlled
    Senate convicted him on eight articles of impeachment by well over the
    required two-thirds majority.

Thus Mr. Hastings became only the sixth judge in the history of our Republic (and only the
third in the 20th Century) to be removed by Congress. He was, and is, an utter disgrace
to the nation and to the legal profession. And I’ll bet you didn’t hear in the mainstream
media that among those voting to impeach him were Ms. Pelosi herself.

So was it a lapse of memory that Speaker of the House Nancy decided that Hastings
would be such an intelligent choice for chairman of the Intelligence Committee?

Another cowpie. And as the stench rose from another flatted road apple, Ms. Pelosi
reversed course amid growing public criticism and instead tapped Texas Democrat
Silvestre Reyes to run the Intelligence Committee.

THE FLYING COWPIE
Earlier this year, we all heard how she came under harsh criticism for reportedly trying to
secure a jumbo Air Force jet to fly her, her family members and friends nonstop back and
forth to her home in San Francisco.

Once the word got out that the Queen Bee wanted a jet fit for royalty, she quickly said she
would even be content to fly commercial.

Maybe she can go on the road as a stand-up comedian if this legislature-thing doesn’t
work out.

THE PORK-FILLED COWPIE
Last month, in what was trumpeted by the Dems and mainstream media to be a moment of
profound triumph, she lined up 218 votes, the bare minimum required, to support a wave-
the-white-flag, cut-and-run Democratic war-spending bill that included a timetable for
withdrawal from Iraq.

Instead, the vast right wing conspiracy checked the details and discovered that she and
her buddies stuffed (translation: bought) the "emergency" legislation with $20 billion in
pork-barrel spending.

Smelly!

THE OOPS-YOU-CAUGHT-ME COWPIE
Now, in the midst of her current chick-to-sheik tour across the Middle East, she continues
to step in road apples of greater and greater size.

In her latest mishap, Pelosi went to the Middle East this week with the aim of brokering a
peace between Israel, the United States' closest ally in the region, and Syria, a widely
recognized state sponsor of terrorism.

Pelosi said she was "very pleased with the reassurances we received from Syrian
president [Bashar al-Assad] that he was ready to...engage in negotiations for peace with
Israel." The meeting with Assad, she told reporters, "enabled us to communicate a
message from Prime Minister [Ehmud] Olmert that Israel was ready to engage in peace
talks as well."

Trouble was, she apparently out and out lied. There’s hardly
any other way to spin it.

Israel’s Olmert quickly denied that he had authorized Pelosi to
pass along that conciliatory message. In fact, his office issued
a statement saying quite the contrary.

The statement pointed out that before conducting peace
negotiations, "Syria must cease its support of terror, cease
its sponsoring of the Hamas and Islamic Jihad organizations,
refrain from providing weapons to Hizbollah and bringing
about the destabilizing of Lebanon, cease its support of terror
in Iraq, and relinquish the strategic ties it is building with the
extremist regime in Iran."

YOU GO, GIRL!
So what’s the problem?

As my coffee-drinking buddies all agreed,
we applaud her efforts.

All we are saying is give Nanc a chance.

We promise not to laugh too hard when
she keeps stepping in those smelly piles.

And when we do laugh, it’s mostly to keep from crying, since we keep hoping and praying
that her power-hungry free-lancing and prevarications (translation: lies) won’t destroy our
country, even though the actions by people such as Nancy and Harry Reid have
seemingly put our brave servicemen and women at greater risk in some of the most
strategic places around the globe.

Still, we will try to keep looking for the silver lining. After all, the Democrat leader came into
power as the Speaker of the House to bring transparency and integrity back into
Congress.

Even if integrity seems to be a lost cause in her case, transparency might happen, even if
she doesn’t like the results.

Maybe, if she keeps up her laughable, self-important gaffes, she could be the best thing
to happen to conservative hopes for the 2008 election. The smelly residue on her
designer shoes might actually cause enough stink to help sweep some people with
courage and common sense back into power in Washington.

Tom, Rafe and I agree—Nancy’s our gal!

Or as Rafe says (he's bad about spouting French since he visited Paris a couple of
times),
Vive la transparence!
NANCY'S NEWEST FAN CLUB

Tom, Rafe and I have become Nancy Pelosi fans. Yep, you read it correctly. My
coffee-drinking buddies and I have become part of the "Give Nanc a Chance"
bandwagon.

She swept into to power this last November by pledging to bring integrity and
transparency back to Congress.

We figure one out of two ain’t bad!

Since that time, transparent to a fault, she has been like the greenhorn who visits
the farm and keeps stepping in road apples (translation: manure).
The official coffee mug for
coffee-drinking
bull-sessions with Sterling,
Tom and Rafe.
Order yours today!
I don't know about you, but the three of us down
here on the ranch are having us one hell of a time
seeing it all happen.

Frankly, we think people ought to lighten up and
give her some time to learn the ropes, even if it
means allowing her to keep stepping into a few
steaming cowpies, as she has displayed a distinct
tendency to do so well.
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